Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Now I Have to Start Over

I just heard an ad on the radio about second-hand smoke and how horrid it is for you. The tag line was "Second hand smoke. It's no joke." Great, now I have to rewrite my entire set for tomorrow since it was going to go something like:

I just flew in from Pittsburgh and SECOND-HAND SMOKE!
(hold for laughs)
No, but seriously, I'm never getting married because SECOND-HAND SMOKE!
(applause)
Have you ever had a friend who was like, "SECOND-HAND SMOKE!"
(deafening laughter and cheers)
You guys have been great, that's my time.
(standing ovation)

Toby Keith is now on, singing a song called "I'll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again". I'm looking forward to the follow-up "I'll Never Write Anymore Jingoistic, Blindly Patriotic Shit With Catch Phrases About How America Kicks Ass While Wearing Boots"

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