Friday, July 29, 2005

I need James Taylor to Win...

I have the pleasure of listening to 99.5 WMAG's continuous soft schlock all day, every day at work. I'm sure that several of you are similarly afflicted, so to give us something to make the day go faster and to provide a reason not to go out at lunch and impale ourselves on a parking meter, I have created this: Soft Rock Bingo.

Print out the attached bingo cards, distribute them to your coworkers, and play it like regular bingo although without that musty "Aspercreme & Elderly" scent that permeates most bingo halls. Mark each artist as you hear them, continue until you have 5 in a row in any direction or until the Wellbutrin wears off. Winner gets to choose which of the Losers will shoot them in the face. Congratulations!

Speaking of James Taylor, Runtie is attending his concert in Raleigh tonight. She continuously berated me about what a dork I was for my love of all things Mellencamp, but at least he's mobile. I can actually hear James Taylor's bones getting brittle. Hopefully, her seats are close enough that she'll be able to see the wires holding him up and moving him across the stage. True, when JCM sings "When I fight authority/Authority always wins", he's talking about the AARP, but at least he won't crumble to dust if you shake him vigorously. Don't worry, the Alltel Pavilion is offering a partial refund if JT breaks a hip during the show...

Holy shit, rereading that last paragraph makes me wonder how I have ever managed to have sex. With another person.

Confidential to John Fogerty: Why haven't you called me? I still think you're very handsome. Would you like to play Bingo?

1 comment:

Wellbutrin Side Effects said...

My name is Tricia Hurley and i would like to show you my personal experience with Wellbutrin.

I am 54 years old. Have been on Wellbutrin for 1 year now. Helps with depression. No weight gain like with Zoloft or decreased libido like with Prozac. I do think Prozac worked better and the only reason I went off it was my husband complained about that libido thing.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Involuntary jerks of hands and legs. Feels like when you're about to fall asleep and suddenly jerk awake, but this is in the daytime. Often feel like adrenaline is flooding my stomach.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Tricia Hurley