Monday, July 11, 2005

Monday Starts the Weekend

I'm living the dream: 10:30 a.m., at the office listening to matchbox 20 and my coworker's audible intestinal problems--he doesn't even attempt to cover it up with a fake cough anymore. I think we're losing some of the magic...

I'm on my best behavior's review time which means I'm eligible for up to a 3% raise, which would work out to an additional $14 per week. I'm looking forward to pampering myself with an extra gallon of gas and a new spiral notebook. It also means that I won't have to steal pens from the doctor's office anymore. This has to be the most self-destructive habit of all time; I'm currently chewing on a Bic marked "Cefzil" and wondering how many of those I will have to take to eradicate the diseases I've probably contracted by gnawing on it.

The weekend was great... I guest setted (again, yes, that is a verb. Past participle, if you're conjugating at home) for Kathleen Madigan at Goodnight's. Holy crap, I'm not kidding, if she ever is within 280 miles of your home, immediately get in your car, truck, boat, or John Deere Gator and go see her. She's absolutely brilliant/amazing/hilarious/other gushing synonyms. She told me she thought I was funny, which is a lot like having Carl Sagan see your science fair project and mention that he liked your model of the Milky Way.

Note: No, he was not the guy on "Full House". That was Bob Saget.

Anyway, it's humbling to see someone who is at the top of her game like that. We've had comics come in and I've thought, "Now J-Money's funnier than that", because my inner monologue sounds exactly like Rickey Henderson. I equate this weekend to building one of those 25,000 piece 3-D puzzles of the Taj Mahal and putting it on your coffee table for everyone to admire. Then you end up going to India, seeing the real Taj Mahal, and you come home and immediately throw your crappy model in the back of the closet and want to write a note of apology to anyone who saw it.

She's that good.


An A-List Celebrity said...

did you know that I love that woman? wow. you are SUCH a rockstar. or rapstar if you prefer.

J-Money said...

I'm not kidding, I felt like Wayne and Garth when they went to meet Alice Cooper. She rocks like a hurricane, tropical storm, and tropical depression all in one. She should be on trading cards.