Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Nose, Grindstone. Grindstone, Nose.

Things I'll be attacking today:
1) Reading VIBE magazine, because I heart Common.
2) Reading the rest of the Enquirer ("The Best and Worst Beach Bodies") and approximately 14 pages examining how close Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes stood to Penelope Cruz and what this means for their relationship, the path of the X-47 Comet, and whether or not I will throw up in my mouth
3) Reading SPIN (The 100 Best Albums from 95-05) and subsequently filling in gaps my CD collection by signing up for yet another Columbia House membership using my mother's maiden name. Do they ever wonder how many people live at my address? Or why four people use the same credit card to pay for their free CDs? By the way, I know that cheating Columbia House was cool in, oh, 1988. Hate all you want, I'm getting 15 CDs for a penny, bitch.

I was out of town for the weekend, in South Florida, where a 30 minute run can leave you looking like the bug shield (is that the technical term for it?) on the front of a Dodge Dakota. Mmmm...insects.

This being the day after July 4th (July 5th, for you Carolina graduates) I would like to point out that there is nothing patriotic about wearing shorts that look like the American flag. We did not fight for our independence so that you could whip your schlong out between the stars and the stripes. I'm just saying...

1 comment:

An A-List Celebrity said...

a. cheating Columbia House will never cease to be cool as long as you are broke and need music like water.

b. there is nothing patriotic about your sweaty ass in American flag boxer shorts. Conor was ranting about this yesterday.