Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Team Name Here

OK, it's time for fantasy football season, which means that my patient boyfriend will have to endure 16 weeks of me being insanely concerned about the outcome of the Browns-Dolphins game and wondering about the opportunities for 9th string running backs to contribute to the team (That means you, Avion Cason).

Some people enjoy fantasy football because they say it gives them an interest in teams they wouldn't normally watch. Those people are wrong. I enjoy fantasy football because I now have a concrete reason to hope that Randy Moss falls asleep by the fireplace and his legs melt (you know, like in the creepy non-Disney version of "Pinocchio". Or was I the only one whose first grade teacher thought it was a good idea to read that story to a group of 6 year olds? Pair that with the "Velveteen Rabbit", and I was terrified that at any time I would either burst into flames or contract scarlet fever and be promptly incinerated. Hats off to you, Iris Cooper.) Anyway, if Randy's tibias are reduced to charred stumps, Jerry Porter and I will rejoice.

So I haven't named my team yet. I have posted my potential names below and would appreciate any feedback that you, loyal readers, have on these:

Fightin' Scientologists
Amber Alert!
Angelina Ate My Baby
Faulkin' A
I Drive a Dodge Stratus
Janosz Poha
Garfield Isn't Funny
Pierce Film to Vent
You're Glib, Matt
Blanket aka Prince Michael II
Pro-Activ

Happy Little Trees
Mr. Belvedere
The United Way
Your Mother Has Loose Morals
6th Commandment
Can You Hear Me Now?

Happy Hands Club
Ninjas Are Mammals.
staphylococcus aureus
SWF, 26
If I Lose, A Unicorn Dies
Tell Your Dad to Call Me
World's Greatest Grandma

The Lilting Banshees
Your Premiums Never Increase
Oprah

6 comments:

The Bird Man said...

I like "tell you dad to call me," or "If I loose a Unicorn Dies." However, you could also try "The Drunk Uncles," or "The Kitten Killers." These are also good band names which I might use one day.

An A-List Celebrity said...

Can you please use "the Lilting Banshees" if only to potentially irritate current and past Banshees?

The Rover said...

I think you should call your team "Sucka Free". Cause that would indicate that your team contains no suckers. That means that you are good.

And here's a free tip for you...if you need an RB, look at the Steelers' Willie Parker. You'll like him.

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