Monday, September 19, 2005

Mail Bashing

What is it with me and the mail-related postings? Today I went to the post office to buy some stamps. I could really care less which mini-portrait graces the corner of my envelope, so I grabbed a dozen of the Ronald Reagan ones. I take them to the counter and Jim, my Postal Buddy, says, "Oh, the Reagans, an excellent choice." Look, Jimbo, it's not like trying to match the right wine with the right meat...I didn't know that you should pair a dead president with letters to your relatives or slap an abstract painter on your pharmacy bill, but I'm pleased to know I passed the test.

Anyway, he asked if I was a collector. Um...apparently going right for the Gipper stamps has catapulted me far above the amateur stamp purchase. Only a novice would have gotten the flags or the "Love" ones. Hell, I'm guessing they'd still try to lick 'em. Retards. I was like, "Nope, just needed some stamps." I'm not kidding, Jim's entire demeanor changed and he looked as though I'd just taken a shit in a Priority envelope. He acted like my decision to mail my gas bill was somehow demeaning to Ronnie's memory, like I was the only person who was going to let his little face get cancelled. Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Ronald Reagan whose corpse got paraded around the country like "Weekend at Bernie's: White House Edition"? I believe he was passed around more times than Tara Reid at Senor Frog's but somehow I'm tarnishing his legacy? Holy shit, imagine the chaos that would ensue if Bonzo the chimp had gotten his own stamp? I'm sure it would go well with a nice cabernet.

1 comment:

howardkline5545 said...

i thought your blog was cool and i think you may like this cool Website. now just Click Here