Monday, November 20, 2006

I Think The Harris Teeter Cashier Called Social Services

So my sister, Runtie, came to visit me this weekend. Here's where I resist the urge to refer to my home as "The J-Money Pit" even though that's catchier than "The Place Where My Shitty Neighbor Let Her Dog Chew the Face Off Of My Carved Pumpkin, Which I Still Don't Appreciate Even Though Halloween Was Last Month So I Totally Retaliated By Putting Some Non-Recyclables Into Her Recycle Bin and By 'Non-Recyclables', I Mean A Dead Squirrel."

Friday's festivities included playing Nintendo and solving the crossword puzzles in US Weekly because they make us feel smart since the New York Times rarely features clues like:

"Tom Hanks Dog Comedy: Turner and _____"

or "Tom Hanks AIDS Drama: Phila_____, Or Also a Type of Cream Cheese That Rhymes With Miladelphia"

or "Tom Hanks Comedy You Didn't See: Joe Vs. The ______, You Know, Yet Another Film He Wishes You'd Forget About Because Now He's a Serious Actor Who Is Willing to Endure a Ridiculous Hairstyle for Months For the Sake of a Role. No, It's Not 'Big'. Or 'That Thing You Do'. Oh, Christ, it's "Volcano", Just Write The World "Volcano" in 24 Across."

Oh, and we also did some grocery shopping.

And we staged a performance in Aisle 8 of "They Shoot Horses Don't They? Especially If They're Unable To Mount The Other Reasonably-Priced Horse In Front of The Boxes of Keebler Town House Crackers."

Then we settled in for a quality evening of 8-bit entertainment punctuated by several crying jags because when someone asks who you spent your Friday night with, "That Blonde Guy From 'Skate or Die'" isn't a good answer. Especially since it's not 1988 anymore, except in some parts of West Virginia.

Now. Can anyone help me with 18-Down, "Tom Hanks Baseball Comedy: __ League of Their Own". Is it I? O? F? Shit.

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