Thursday, November 02, 2006

More Thoughts I Had While Tearing Open a Packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast

--Driving home from my show at Goodnight's last night, there were several signs on the interstate flashing an Amber Alert. You were to call the authorities if you saw a red Dodge pickup. Um, this is North Carolina. I passed 38 potential suspects in the first ten minutes of my drive and that didn't even include the Wal-Mart parking lot.

--I'm currently driving a rental, a Nissan Murano.
Apparently, Murano is a Japanese word meaning "you're never getting laid with this car". I don't think any potential dates would be impressed if I pointed out that there is room enough in the back for 2 carseats so perhaps we should start making babies, or that I can fit my entire left leg in the glove compartment...would he care to hold my purse while I demonstrated?

Also, rental car comes from the ancient Greek words meaning "let's see if I can drive over that stack of recycle bins. And that dogwood tree. And maybe a swingset."

--It seems like the EZ listening station starts playing Christmas music earlier every year... I think their current playlist is actually in celebration of Christmas 2009. Last night I heard the Manheim Steamroller version of "Deck the Halls". Wow. If aluminum foil could make a sound, that's what it would be. Except shittier. Just hearing it made my fillings hurt.

And no, Manheim Steamroller is not the fat woman from The Practice. I looked it up right before I called the cops again...I think the kidnapper just delivered my paper.

1 comment:

Blogger said...

Using RentalCars you can discover affordable car hire at over 49000 international locations.