Sunday, November 26, 2006

Shameless Self-Promotion.

To my Charlotte Reader(s)-

Catch me Tuesday night at the Comedy Zone being funny as part of Fresh Faces 6. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds sort of like a skin cleanser.

What if I told you that instead of telling jokes I was going to be writhing on the hood of a Trans-Am while "Here I Go Again" plays? OK, I'd be lying and that's kind of a horrid mental image. The only way I'll end up on the hood of a car is if I've been struck by one.

I hope all of you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Mine was uneventful save for the afternoon when my cell phone went missing. I was frantically tearing the house apart when I heard the muffled strains of the House theme song (Yes, that's my ringtone because I'm AWESOME. And very lonely.) coming from my grandmother's ass. My first thought was that she had eaten it, but then I realized that she was just sitting on it, which was both a relief and kind of disappointing because "Grandma Got CT Scanned For My Razr" is my favorite holiday song. She's reasonably deaf because she doesn't understand that for hearing aids to work, they have to be in your ears and not just in the plastic squeezy change purse you got from the bank. So there was nothing I could do...except get a cordless phone and keep calling my number--not because she was going to notice but because I felt obligated to share it with every member of my family.

Seriously--if you live in the greater Mecklenburg County area, come to the show. E me and I'll tell you how you can get a discount on tickets. It promises to be a good time. I hope that I can use some of that Fresh Faces stuff to disinfect my phone.

1 comment:

August said...

do you even have any charlotte readers?

i'd be afraid to use my cell phone if it had been embedded in my grandma's ass, let alone any grandma's ass. maybe your grandma mistook it for some type of new sex toy! go grandma, get your freak on, go grandma, get nasty!