Tuesday, December 12, 2006

And He Probably Got Tinsel-Lung Too

I went to the salon at lunch today (that sounds so much better than "I got my hair did at Bonnie's Beauty Barn" which is closer to the truth). There were two women sitting in the waiting area and they were talking about mall Santas. One woman's son actually worked as a mall Santa but she said he resigned last week because he had chronic knee pain from the kids sitting on his lap.

My first thought was that at least his leg won't smell like pee until Easter but then I realized, you know, that really sucks. The guy's getting paid probably minimum wage to wear a flammable polyester costume, get covered in drool on a good day and used as a changing station on the others, and pretend to be interested when an endless string of kids tell him that they really, really want some rollerskate shoes and a puppy with all its legs and for Santa to put their new baby brother back inside mommy's tummy and all he gets out of it is arthritis?

Isn't there some kind of rule that doing something nice shouldn't result in bad shit? No one who dresses as a cartoon character (Macy's Parade, amusement park, theme restaurant or Disney World except for some of the people at EPCOT because not only are they boring, they try to make you learn), holiday icon (Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Great Pumpkin, Jesus), mascot (except for the Duke Blue Devil who should be thrown into a dumpster at BigLots and left for dead) should ever get hurt on the job. Also, no one should ever get sick from drinking from the communion wine goblet and nobody should ever get an STD from a mercy screw.

That's my Christmas wish. That and for these highlights to last forever.

1 comment:

O Outro said...

Its a great blog , i had fun reading it :D