Things to Do in North Carolina When You're
This series will continue until I find a job that doesn't involve using a cash register, the treatment of open sores, or driving a novelty vehicle.
1. Design and sell t-shirts.
Regardless of whether Paris goes to jail, Tinkerbell the Chihuahua is the real victim...and has been from the day she (he?) was pulled from the litter, given a tiara, and placed in her new home, Paris' cup holder.
So why not buy a shirt to show your support for little Tink, the Hilton with the best chance of knowing how to read. They're the perfect gift for Mother's Day, especially if your mother is the type who likes Star magazine, Captain's Wafers, and being awesome.
Also available in Free Paris style.
Confidential to My Mother: Please pretend to be surprised when you receive one of these on Sunday. I don't have a real job. My gift-giving choices were limited to a t-shirt, a blanket my neighbor threw away, or a picture frame I made out of a Lean Cuisine box, Saran Wrap, and tears.