Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Please Eat More P'Zones

After seeing this picture of Star Jones in this week's People magazine (what? I was on the elliptical machine and The Economist is too hard to prop up) I was admittedly sad. Not because she lied about having gastric bypass or that losing 160 pounds makes us now focus on her uncomfortably large forehead, but because with the emergence of the new skinny Star, we've lost our last easy punchline.

First Kirstie Alley went on Jenny Craig, Carnie Wilson joined Celebrity Fit Club, and Camryn Manheim drifted into obscurity (or onto Ghost Whisperer, essentially the same thing) And now Star Jones has shriveled down to delia*s weight (which has to be a wonderful development for her husband Al, who is no doubt borrowing a pair of her leggings as we speak).

So whose name will precede phrases like "sweats gravy" or "thinks Bisquick is a beverage"? No one else in the pages of People even comes close, except maybe the subject of one of those human interest stories they bury in the back behind the crossword puzzle and ads for "Mrs. Pitt" t-shirts. Really, I think I speak for all comedians when I say Congratulations, Star! Go out and celebrate, perhaps at Pizza Hut. You've earned it. And we deserve it.

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