Wednesday, August 08, 2007


I took the first step aerobics class of my life tonight. I failed miserably. Not only do I lack any sense of rhythm or timing, I was so insanely uncoordinated that I spent the majority of the time I was supposed to be "grapevining"--whatever the hell that means--wondering if I'd had a stroke earlier today.

The class was composed mainly of middle-aged middle-management women who could nimbly do everything the instructor said, without missing a beat of "Sexy Back". I looked around and realized that I was probably the only person who could name the entire starting roster for the 2004 Red Sox, who knew the lyrics to the Perfect Strangers theme song, and who had read any of Tom Stoppard's major works. But I was also the only one in the room who was completely incapable of counting to four.


Hot Librarian said...

I also find "grapevining" a mystery. We had to do it in gym when I was in 10th grade, and I fell over.

However, I HAVE read several of Tom Stoppard's works. Perhaps there is a correlation?

J-Money said...

Those are two of the reasons that we were such a successful roommate pairing. Two other reasons were our mutual love for both tater tots and The Golden Girls.

The Charles Bronson Solution said...

How can you make a posting like this without going into some detail about the workout clothing you wore?

I realized a couple of years ago that women doing synchronized aerobics to Fat Joe's "Lean Back" in spandex unitards brought up feelings of eroticism in me so intense they were only matched by those from watching '70s sex ed. movies originally intended for mentally-retarded "trainables."