Saturday, December 15, 2007

Positive Thoughts Not Included

I've done extensive research* and have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more annoying and/or likely to drive ordinary citizens into a frothing, face-melting rage more than the a shrieking infant shattering the Starbucks-scented silence of your local Barnes & Noble. However, your (and by "your" I mean "my") rage will be replaced by delight upon witnessing the the mother of said child using a display of carefully arranged copies of The Secret as a changing table.

Confidential to Barnes & Noble Customers: You may want to wash your hands. And maybe not touch your faces. And maybe incinerate your purchases.

Confidential to Me: +1 for not making any "It was a shitty book anyway" comments. Look at you, growing up.

* I have not done any research, except as a child when I would put a wet washcloth on a piece of bread and lay it in the back of the closet to see if I could grow mold.
**I could.
***I also once took the telephone apart.

1 comment:

The Clandestine Samurai said...

Hey, the second and third asterisk-ed phrases are not referenced in the post.