Thursday, December 06, 2007

You Checked Our Shitters Lately, Honey?

It's December and that means that this year is finally almost over. I'm looking forward to scraping these last 25 days off of the calendar because 2007 has been the worst year of my life, personally and professionally. That's no small accomplishment, since 2006 included 1) my boyfriend of six years leaving me for a woman who looks like a baseball mitt with hair and 2) a prolonged skin rash.

But, why dwell on the negatives (like my unemployment or social calendar which, sadly, remains emptier than Oprah's womb) and instead focus on my Awesome Annual Awesome Christmas Mix CD of Awesomeness. I send CDs of festive holiday music out instead of Christmas cards--no one seemed to appreciate last year's attempt at being Hallmark--and have about 15 left. If you'd like one, drop me an email with "Awesome" in the subject line and let me know where to send it.

Every time you play the music, it'll be like I'm attending your own holiday celebrations but without the awkwardness of actually, you know, meeting me. Or speaking to me. Or watching me eat.


CLARE. said...

An asshole in her bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into the sewer.

Yep, sounds just like you!

where'smymom said...

I love, love, love this making a copy for Matt right now so he stops coming by my office and begging for it....and by it, I mean sex, and by sex I mean Christmas cookies