Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Funemployment

Sigh. I'm still looking for work. Despite four months of interviews (I know, right?) at the Dream Job--and the handwritten thank-you notes* I sent after each visit--they decided to pass. Maybe it was my handbag. Maybe I was too pitchy. Maybe when they asked what my biggest weakness was, I shouldn't have said "bench press"**.

So it's back to monster.com, whose featured listing for my area involves the phrase "pest control".

I met a friend for coffee*** the other day and he continues to encourage my wild-eyed, bathrobe wearin' crazy ideas about being a writer. "You should start a sex blog!" he suggested repeatedly between sips of skinny latte. "That would sell ads, get readers, and put your name out there!"

Yes, yes, yes it would. The problem is that I'm missing the major component for said blog. If you replace "sex" with "Mama's Family reruns" or "books about whaling ships", then I'm more than qualified.

Maybe I should've put more sex in those thank you notes.

*I wrote multiple drafts of those damn things. A box of 12 cards yielded 4 that were actually mailed and 8 that were airballed at the trashcan. Now I have a drawer full of misfit envelopes, mint-flavored reminders of my failure.
**Also, when the HR director asks you to tell about a time when you were disappointed, don't say "2007".
***He had coffee, I had water with lemon. Because that's both free and protection against scurvy.

6 comments:

Scooter said...

That's the problem with employment isn't it? If you had a job with a big company, they might give you free milk or fruit and a free Thanksgiving turkey. But you don't really need the free fruit and turkey after you have the job, you need it before you have the job, when you're drinking lemon and water and wondering whether you should blog about your dog or eat him. Maybe I could mail you some free milk. You know, sort of loan you milk and fruit, so it's not a crime, and you could just pay it forward with freebies when you get a job.

J-Money said...

Scooter, you're always one of my fave commenters, but the "blog about your dog or eat him" line took you to a new level. Like through a warp zone.

Vanilla said...

You should definitely become a writer. I have the same dream of sitting around all day doing nothing and then pounding out a few paragraphs on my laptop for which I'm paid handsomely. If you find anything like that and there’s two job openings then be sure to recommend me for the other one, I’ll do the same for you.

Craig said...

I look at it like this, most bloggers are not experienced in what they discuss, and yet people read them anyway. I say go to town. By the way, you should become a writer, because you make me laugh my ass off consistently. Which is good, because I have a lot of ass to laugh off.

the boy who likes to... said...

You can post sex in envelopes now? WOW!

The Clandestine Samurai said...

Which books? Herman Melville? Joseph Conrad?