Thursday, January 03, 2008

Update, Facebook Style

My current status:

J-Money thinks that getting a dog was the worst idea she's ever had. In related news, would anyone like a Boxer puppy?

Which prompted this Facebook message exchange between my friend Craig and I:

Him: Today at 11:37pm
Given your status as a comedy professional, I occasionally ponder your life as a sitcom, a good one, moving from episode to episode. I think I am really going to enjoy the Pigpen arc. Partially because I do not have to clean up after him.

Me: Today at 11:41pm

Ugh. I'm not sure the Pigpen arc is going to make it through many episodes. He will
most likely be a lesser character than Marcel the monkey.

My house smells like a zoo. A very dirty, pee-stained soon-to-be-targeted by animal rights activists kind of zoo, that also happens to have some Pottery Barn furniture. I have mopped 4 times today. I have done 3 loads of laundry (mainly dog beds and an unfortunately targeted bathroom rug that is now the color of one of the dog beds) and have a poop-pawed animal staring at me sad-eyed from inside his crate as I wonder: Is it worse to leave him in there all night and have to wake up to that delightfully robust aroma OR to have to bathe him tonight and clean up the subsequent messes that will occur in the time between the bath and when he's dry enough to be taken outside?

I hate my life right now...and not just because I made a Friends reference.

Him: Today at 11:43pm
While I was still living at home post-college, my sister got a purebred English Bulldog. Bulldogs are NOT smart animals, and he is dumb for a bulldog. Nearly stepping in a pile of puppy puke on my way to the bathroom from the basement one morning was NOT my idea of fun. So I do genuinely empathize.

Me: Today at 11:46pm
He's not puking yet. That's either a small victory or something else to fear.


Hot Librarian said...

Yay puppies!

Boo sorrow!

Scooter said...

I saw this article on Yahoo, and wondered if perhaps you'd actually gotten a pug...

"she feels for the guilt-ridden woman, who describes herself as a near penniless alcoholic. But she wants the dog back."

Oops Pow Surprise said...

How old is he?

Anonymous said...

I do feel your pain...I have been angst ridden since adding Kevin, the pug to our house. We're not home much during the day so he's crated. I think he's become institutionalized now...I swear I saw him flash a gang sign, and that nylabone I gave him is whittled down to a shiv.

Now, I really never shower in front of him...(i've always felt kinda funny about that anyway).


Texas Gal said...

But he's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

Satchmo said...

Two things to make you feel better (maybe)

1) At least he's not eating it. Coprophagia. Nasty doggie habit.

2) At least he's small right now. Small dogs = small poop. In theory.

J-Money said...

OPS, he's 13 weeks...