Monday, February 18, 2008

Dr. Phil Haiku #21

On today's episode...

Alcoholic mom
Needs to stop drinking red wine
Also needs Whitestrips

She can't pay her bills.
Big deal, I can't either.
Let's have a party!

She drinks vanilla
Extract when there's no booze. At
Least she's a cheap date.

Phil's super upset
Could be pissed about wearing
A lavender shirt


spunkblog said...

But whitestrips hurt so bad. :)

Hollywood Sucker said...

I tried it too!

I am a douchebag
Douchey douche lameness
Change the channel now

J-Money said...

Spunkblog: That's the damn truth. The number of boxes I've purchased > the number of boxes I've gotten more than two days deep

Hollywood: You're going to need to be more specific, as that stage was ripe with douchefruit.

Hollywood Sucker said...

how can you expect me to be more specific when i didnt even get the 5-7-5 right?

did you notice?

Marcy said...

O.M.F.G!!! Best Haiku ever! I caught a glimpse of that episode too, in between yelling at the children :P

J-Money said...

Hollywood: I did now that you pointed it out... but then again, I wore two different Chucks today so I'm not the most observant creature. I am also thisclose to being Punky Brewster.

Marcy: Tomorrow, you can write haiku and I'll yell at your kids. :)

survivingmyself said...

it was definitely the lavender shirt.

Virginia said...

Oh sad, I just tried to post a comment and blogger up and quit in the middle of it.

Anyway, whitestrips. I do not like them. Maybe I need to switch from red wine to white wine and save myself a lot of trouble.

Ashley said...

jesus this is awesome. i hate doctor phil but haikus about him make me giddy.

just found your blog! hello :)

J-Money said...

Surviving: I'd be pissy too if I were swaddled in purple and brown. It's like he was dressed by Dino Flintstone. Or Prince.

Virginia: No kidding. I don't know how they manage to make your gums feel like they've been worked over with a welding torch.

Ashley: Hello back! There will be a new haiku every day until I beat myself to death with a copy of "Self Matters".