Monday, March 24, 2008

Dr. Phil Haiku #41-45

On Monday's episode...
Disgraced New York gov
My biggest question: Did she
Spitzer or swallow?

Spent eighty grand on
Hookers. Too much! I would have
Done it for Fritos.

On Tuesday's episode...
She says that she is
A "love junkie". That's a nice
Way of saying "Whore".

Phil says she's playing
The love lottery. Make your own
'Scratch off' joke here.

On Wednesday's episode...
A model's perfect
Husband turns bad. Just like in
The Lifetime movies.

He thinks the Bible
Will help. Until he gets mad
And throws it at her.

On Thursday's episode...
Dad stays drunk, his teen
Daughter runs house. Hasselhoff
School of Parenting

Phil tells him his brain
Is toxic. That isn't going
To stop the zombies.

On Friday's episode...
Fifty and still thinks
He'll be a rock star. But so
Does Uncle Jesse.

She chews her dog's food,
Feeds it from her mouth. Also
May lick its weiner.

16 comments:

aarontodd said...

Instant Classics.

Ashley said...

these always make my day. and the last one about the dog woman made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Mickey said...

Effin awesome.

MizFit said...

love.

Spent eighty grand on
Hookers. Too much! I would have
Done it for Fritos.

me? one. single. pedicure. sans. toddler.

M.

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

I love these more than I love Fritos.

And I too, would have done it for Fritos.

Are You Willing to Change? said...

So great! Thanks!

Mike said...

Have you stopped talking to your dog?
ALSO: That Dr.Phil picture is giving me night terrors. My mom keeps asking me why I'm always calling out, and all I can say is, "he knows my secrets." Although, I do adore these haikus. Forge us sumor.

tiff said...

so flippin' genius.

Katelin said...

freaking amazing. love these.

Dexter Colt said...

EN FUEGO!

Lainey said...

I needed this laugh today. Thank you!

This one is going on my fridge. Oh yes, it's a keeper!

Alya said...

She says that she is
A "love junkie". That's a nice
Way of saying "Whore".

He thinks the Bible
Will help. Until he gets mad
And throws it at her.

MY FAVORITES! HAHAHA..

Stacy said...

I have created a blog carnival for haiku - haiku-koo. I would love to have some of your Dr. Phil Haiku in the next edition. If you visit blogcarnival.com and choose the Haiku-koo carnival, I will definitely link your post! Thanks.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Spitzer or swallow......OMG.....
made my day.

ablogofherown.wordpress.com said...

Wow.
Dr. Phil Haikus!
I think I love you.

Kirsten said...

OMG! Those are hilarious!! I love it!