Friday, April 18, 2008

I'm a Sailor Peg! And I Lost my Leg!

As you may know, I'm shipping up to Boston (wooah ohh ohhh!) tomorrow morning to run in Monday's Boston Marathon. This could either go very well, which means I will wear my commemorative t-shirt every day and point out this accomplishment to friends, strangers, potential ex-boyfriends, and anyone who fails to notice ("Yes, Officer, I know how fast I was going. Faster than I ran the Boston Marathon. Hold my Dewars so I can show you my medal. ") OR it will be a complete disaster and we will never speak of it again, putting it in the same category as 8th grade, my last job, and every haircut I had from 1988-1994.

Regardless of my finishing time, I'll be running in the bad-assiest sweat wicking shirt of all time, courtesy of my friend Clare.


It's such an amazing garment I'll feel horrible about throwing up on it.

If any of you happen to see me on the race course, please wave and shout and maybe hand me some Teddy Grahams or Powerade or Immodium or something. I appreciate everyone's support and promise to stop and make out with anyone holding a "J-Money 3:16" poster.

Regardless, I feel ready. My training went better than expected so the only thing left to do is eat enough carbs to shit out an Olive Garden and possibly remove my pelvis. I'm a bit concerned about this year's ban on iPods, but thankfully my brain has chosen to retain the lyrics to "Take On Me" and "No Diggity" instead of worthless information like my blood type or my parents' names. I'll be forced to entertain myself so, if it looks like I'm singing, I'm probably singing. Or giving myself last rites.

Thank all of you for the supportive comments and emails you've sent. There's nothing left to do but run, you stupid fucking marathoner, run.

45 comments:

Rachel said...

Good Luck in the Boston Marathon! That's such an accomplishment just to be able to go to the Marathon. I'm pretty jealous! Let us know how it goes.

MD said...

Good Luck! The weather's great up here!

d said...

a very hearty good luck, with a nod towards throwing up towards the uglies. we all need to do our part to make sure marathons are representative of a greater society, in which only the pretties matter.

sell those shirts on cafepress and consider one already boughten.

(hopefully gonna get the word verification right on try number 3).

CLARE. said...

W00T.

Can I just say that the people at runningbanana.com (where I ordered the shirt) are awesome? They worked up the art for me for free and didn't even care that I used salty language. Runningbanana.com: For all your inside jokey sweat wicking marathon t-shirt needs.

Ben said...

Nice! Good luck!

My dad ran the full last year and got the logo tattooed on his leg just to make sure NO ONE would ever forget that he ran it. Wear your tshirt loud and proud.

La said...

I'm heading to Boston today, too! I'll wave to you! Good luck!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Good luck! I'll yell out my window "Go J-MONEY!", regardless of whether I see you or not.

Mickey said...

Clare is awesome, obviously. That shirt (fucking) rules!

I know one of your readers who lives in Boston and is likely handy with poster board and markers. Hopefully she'll happen by here today and you'll have to make good on your make-out promise.

Why do they run it on a Monday? That's just weird.

When I finally get around to a marathon, can I borrow your shirt, puke stains and all?

Holly said...

I LUV YEW CUZ!!!!!11

Kaeti said...

Good luck — and don't forget to celebrate by getting blackout drunk.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

No ipods? First of all, doing a marathon seems pretty insane to me to begin with, but then no ipods? That is cruel and unusual punishment.

MissAllycat said...

Good luck! That is a Sweet Ass shirt!!

Pare said...

Running is crazy, that's why I absolutely do not do it.

I agree with the Dutchess of Kickball, too - wtf?!

Oh wait, I had a point: GOOD LUCK!

JustinS said...

Wow... Good luck!

I don't understand running for fun, though. Isn't that why we evolved and built cars or something?

Ashley said...

Good luck!!!! that shirt is awesome. you should make a bunch and sell them @ the race.

tmamone said...

Good luck!

mindy said...

I think running that far makes you do crazy things. For example, my now ex-boyfriend ate sausage pizza right after his last marathon. He was Muslim, so that was not exactly a cool thing to do. It was like he had LOST HIS MIND.

What a douche.

Anyway, good luck! You will do great!

RazZDoodle said...

Good luck! I took you for a J-Money 3:15 kind of gal. My bad.

Vanilla said...

I'll echo what Clare said, Running Banana did a shirt for me once and they are awesome. Almost as awesome as J-Money. Go get 'em J.

Kayleigh said...

GOOD LUCK!!!! I'll be on the sidelines cheering you on in spirit!

My Life My Life My Life said...

I LOVE that t-shirt!!! Would love to have one but ...emmmm...i wouldnt make a bit of sense for me to, you know, have one since...my azz isnt running in a marathon and ummmm i'm not YOU....

GOOD LUCK!!! and...

RUN!!!!!!! and WIN!!!!!!!

OI said...

I am so in love with you...

Please don't die.

rs27 said...

Aside from good luck and don't pee yourself advice, why is Boston so special that they have a silly holiday to run a marathon?

I want a holiday. I'm calling it Awesomemas. We will high five each other and do the opposite of marathons, which would be I guess...Guitar Hero? I don't know.

Its a work in progress

surviving myself said...

you're a genius designer!

Julie_Gong said...

Good Luck!

And I agree with D... I'd totally buy one of those shirts.

Andrea N said...

Good luck on Monday!! I would be there to cheer you on but I have to work. Are you watching the Olympic Trials? Wear that awesome shirt so I know who you are!!

Have an awesome race!!

The Alleged Ringleader said...

Good luck and that shirt freakin rules!

Nate said...

The two races I've run this year have both had iPod bans, but no one took them very seriously - every other person on the course had one on, including me.

Texas Gal said...

Good luck!!!!

Felicia said...

Good luck and run your ass off!!!

Katelin said...

love the shirt, haha. good luck with the marathon!

dmbmeg said...

If you see a girl named Sara, punch her in the face for me?

And good luck!

And remember, NYC Marathon 2008!

J-Money said...

everyone: Holy crap. I wasn't quite prepared for this response! Thank you guys for the love... I so appreciate the support! I also like exclamation points!

jen said...

Good luck!!!! (extra exclamation points just for you!!!!)

I hope I do not see you on the course on Monday because that would mean something went real wrong since I will probably finish 45 minutes +++ behind you (I'm in the second wave and a slowsky compared to you). If I do see you on the side of the road, puking, crying, or otherwise broken, I will scoop you up and carry you in my pocket. :)

HAVE FUN and can't wait to hear how it goes.

thebets said...

Great t-shirt! Congrats on your accomplishment...Have a great time and enjoy the race!

vermeulenblog said...

Kick some ass!

Meghan said...

Good luck. God Speed. And all that jazz.

poodlegoose said...

That's an awesome shirt! And good luck :) Those are some great songs to have stuck in your head.

can't wait to hear how it goes!

Laura said...

I wish there was a way to get my own version with "Hi I'm Laura from Absolutly Fit" on the front. I think the back might be a little too mean for me though since I'm not running it myself.

Regardless, I'll be there to watch and will try to get a sign made for you.

TNT Jim said...

Oh J-Money!!!! You are gonna kick ass, blood, vomit,pee, poo and all. I will be cheering you on from my office in NYC. The fact that you qualified is incredible!!! Please come to NYC with the shirt we need you up here! Run you f-ing marathoner run!!

the frog princess said...

GOOD LUCK!!

Honestly, the fact that you're even considering running a marathon is impressive to people like me... who do not run, ever, unless we are being chased.

I am sure you will kick ass!

jkrunning said...

You just moved up 2 cool points in my book for quoting the Murphy's. Now get out there and run!
Love the shirt BTW.

Kanu said...

Best of luck JM- looks like you are kicking ass thusfar.

You just ran through my hometown, too. Lots of great memories of going down and watching the runners as a wee lad.

Keep it up. Now go make Heartbreak Hill your bitch.

Kanu said...

I ain't no runner, but I know enough to know that 3hr 23min makes you a fucking rockstar. I hope you are snuggling up in that little piece of tinfoil they wrap around you at the finish and feeling proud and high on life.

audgepodge said...

Just saw your race update from Half Fast - wow! Not only do you have one of the funniest blogs out there, but you are one speedy chica! Rock on!!!

(extra exclamation points just for you - heehee)