Thursday, August 21, 2008

Over the Counter

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Summer cold?
Summer cold who?
Summer cold's going to knock you on your ass, make you crave Campbell's Chicken & Stars soup while alternately shivering, sweating, and watching 976-EVIL parts 1 and 2. You'll stay in bed for two consecutive days, which is not as sexy as it sounds, considering that you won't change out of the pair of Christmas-themed pajama pants you've covered with Pop Tart crumbs and Visine stains. You'll feel like you've been encased in carbonite and left for dead, trapped beneath your unseasonably warm, unseasonably tacky Anthropologie comforter, strung out on Sudafed and considering the purchase of an Ab Coaster. And you'll also be TOO WEAK TO BLOG.

So yeah. This week has been misery. My regular schedule of irregular posting will return tomorrow. I've missed you all.

32 comments:

Craig said...

I've missed you too. I would have said "we", but I hate being that damn presumptuous. Here's to hoping you well soon.

WendyB said...

What flavor of Pop-Tarts?

Shelley said...

I got a summer cold this week too. Not as severe as yours, thankfully. I think it's going away. Why I'm telling you this is beyond me. Hope you feel better soon.

Michelle said...

Feel better! My allergies are acting up and it's very difficult to sleep at night.

Maxie said...

the summer cold is a piece of shit, but I guess it's a sign that i need to slow down.

wow.. i totally just took that to negative town. fail.

Lainey said...

Do you have sexy phlegm voice? That's the only cool part of having a cold. Maybe that's just me that though...

Take care of yourself and feel better soon!

andrea said...

Oh yuck, no fun. Feel better!

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Oh, yuck! Feel better!

Allie said...

That sucks. I hope you feel better.

And, shit, it seems like everyone has this cold...my co-workers, my patients, my friends... I am praying to the immunity gods that I will not have it come the beginning of classes on Monday.

J-Money said...

craig: No, presumptuous is assuming that your three day blogcation has been noted and/or lamented.

wendyb: S'mores.

shelley: I hope you feel better too.

michelle: I highly recommend the Tylenol PM cough and sore throat stuff. And also booze.

maxie: I have a time share in Negative Town.

lainey: No, I do not have sexy phlegm huskiness. My voice is at the lower end of the register already so adding a cold turns me into an extra from a women's prison movie.

andrea and your ill-fitting overcoat: Thank you... I'm on the mend, thanks to the 8 metric tons of vitamin C I've been consuming.

allie: I will join the prayer chain, in the hopes that you won't be commemorated as "Most Likely to Tuck a Kleenex in her Sleeve".

The Clandestine Samurai said...

"976-EVIL"? Man, that sucks. Get better soon. My sickness led me to watching "Charmed"......and actually being entertained! But I threw that show away as soon as I got better.

JackeeG4glamorous said...

If I wash my hands and gargle with antibacterial soap after reading your post-does that mean I won't catch what you've got?
Sorry your sick, summer colds suck as much as thunderstorms on your DAY OFF!

JB said...

Feeling a little under the weather, are we? Feel better.

Rosemarie said...

Sounds like you've just about 'Had It' with being sick...

I feel ya baby - I was in bed for a while WEEK not too long ago because my Dr. decides to tell me I MIGHT have phenomia!

Thanks for the MIGHT, Dr.!

onewandering said...

Only by the sheer determination of a dermatologist that prescribed me an insanely expensive mild antibiotic so I can go through life without spending three hours every morning picking the makeup out of my inflamed skin, have I managed to avoid both my winter sinus infection AND, most recently, my parents' summer stomach bug when we went on vacation...

Apparently the moral is: Medicate year round, and you won't have to deal with the reality of hot comforters, off-name brand Kleenex scratching your nose, and ginger ale with the bubbles stirred out.

That being said - "Feel better soon!" *HUG*

Phil said...

Whenever I feel like that I like to take long, hot showers. That is, if I can stand up long enough to do so. Feel better!

Amanda said...

S'mores pop tarts are the quickest way to a colonoscopy. Take heed, little one. I speak from experience.

Feel better.

Andy said...

dude that sucks. I do appreciate the Christmas pajamas. Are there visions of candy canes dancing in your hazy head?
Hope you feel better

Elizabeth said...

Welcome back - hope you're feeling better!

ballerinatoes said...

OMG! Just last night I was thinking my Anthropolgie comforter was unseasonably warm and unseasonably tacky. Hope you feel better soon.

lacochran said...

Hope you feel better soon. Let Mr. Piggleworth cover you in healing slobber. It's the only way.

Peevish said...

I'm glad to see you are back! I was missing your posts!!!

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Dazed and Confused said...

All I can picture is that commercial where the phlegm in the dirty undershirt gets evicted by the expectorant. Does that make you feel better, to imagine Archie Bunker made of phlegm, safe and snug in your nasal cavities? You may feel like crap, but at least Talking Snot has a place to lay his head at night.

Paula said...

Fuck, I'd DEFINITELY buy an ab coaster if i got abs like the people in that link!

Laura said...

Hope you're feeling better now!

Felicia said...

Everyone I know is sick right now too, and I am still recovering from some shit I picked up THREE WEEKS AGO. It's never ending!

Nicholas said...

Me too! I spent the entire week assaulting my liver with Tylenol and waiting for my sclerae to turn Post-It note neon yellow. I'm going to a rodeo tomorrow, where I can only imagine the massive amount of cow dung, straw dust, and tobacco juice flying around in the air will exacerbate my condition to a point where I collapse in a SARS-like mucous pile beneath the bleachers. My gray body will be lost underneath the thousands of empty Milwaukee's Best cans, and it will be weeks before my parents are notified. Seriously, summer colds suck.

Stephanie said...

That doesn't sound too pleasant. Hope you're feeling better soon.

tracie said...

I love the name of your blog. I had to write that, and I haven't even read this post yet!

(Un)popular said...

I got sick last week, and I got to stay home and watch the Olympics. It was perfect timing.

Alexandreena said...

I missed you too. Get better soon!

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