Thursday, September 18, 2008

LOLHouse: Season 5, Episode 1

So I've continued to bask in the glow of Tuesday's House premiere which I thought did a great job of setting up what has been rumored be this season's major conflict--Wilson's resignation due to House being an all-around douchecake. Despite how the episode ended (OMG SPOILER ALERT) I'm sure Wilson won't be gone forever because trying to quit Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital is like trying to get out of the Hotel California. Yes, you can check out any time you like but you can never leave. You will, however, be reassigned to the Emergency Room. In the meantime, J-Wil can mope around until mid-season wearing an expression that says "My best friend killed my girlfriend and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and also this debilitating depression."

It was also nice to see that the show won't be deviating from the formula that's served it so well for the previous four years. I'm plagiarizing myself here* but for the uninitiated, being a patient at Princeton-Plainsboro means you will

  • Receive an initial diagnosis--which may or may not be lupus--and show signs of recovery before...
  • Developing additional symptoms and receiving additional treatment that you won’t respond to.
  • Repeat as necessary before…You begin frothing at the mouth, convulsing, and/or bleeding from the butt and…
  • Start loading your things into Death’s U-Haul before…An offhand, seemingly unrelated comment makes House realize he missed something important and
  • You’ll most likely be cured and will be so relieved that you won’t even consider suing the hospital for the unnecessary tests, botched diagnosis and the fact that they sawed your legs off/removed your tongue/detonated your liver/etc.
The rest of the synopsis will be done in LOLHouse form, which is something I'll probably continue to do all season or until I start getting emails that say things like "U CAN HAS MY FOOT UP UR ASS UNLESS YOU STOPS IT."**

*Not a euphemism
** I promise that the next post will not be about any Fox television shows and will instead be about some other aspect of my life that I've managed to bungle.

Episode 1: "Dying Changes Everything"





















47 comments:

Mojito said...

Your LOL House blogs are seriously the only way to start a morning! I literally laughed out loud. Not very imaginative, I know, but still...
My favorite House moment is from April 06.

The three rookie doctors are working on a patient, and they pull back the blanket and her bottom is bleeding.

The three doctors rush into Dr. House's office, and the plucky girl doctor says,

"We have anal bleeding!"

And Dr. House says,

"What, all of you?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love the show "House".

Lora said...

I laughed out loud too, and usually the only person who makes me do that is... well... me.
Thanks for the post!

Ben said...

I can has dis evry episode?

kthxbai.

Word Perv said...

Please don't stop with the LOLHouse!! I don't have cable and so I don't get to watch it. This is the only way I'm keeping up to date on the show!!! ;)

BTW, the word verification I have to type today is rlouza. Or, in other words: R loser. Nice.

R.J. Cookenboo said...

ROFL!!!
I kinda wish the patient had just flat said, "I shit my bed" instead of "I just had a bowel movement." It adds to the drama.
PS- Love the Sad Panda!

Miss Tiff said...

I love house. Loved this post too by the way. Those photos were great!

Sarah said...

Receive an initial diagnosis--which may or may not be lupus

I think the second most popular one is "sarcoidosis."

And, in "real life," has ANYONE ever heard of a doctor basically breaking and entering and tossing a patient's residence? I can suspend my disbelief quite well for 99% of this show but that is the one thing I just cannot get past.

Love the LOLHOUSE.

saratogajean said...

LOLHouse is on track to become a highlight of my week.

Keep'em coming!

punchlinewalking said...

I have to admit that I had to quit House when the whole "House getting arrested for drugs" story line wouldn't end, but I'm totally on board with LOLHouse.

j.w. said...

LOVE the LOLHouse! I have a hard time imagining LOL-ing (hmm, does that work as a verb?) any other show, although I bet CSI: Miami would be a hoot. (THIZ IZ MAH SAD FACE. THIZ IZ MAH SUZPISHUS FACE. O LUK THEY R THE SAME.)

JustinS said...

Ok, the stages of grief thing? FUCKING HILARIOUS.

I used all caps. It was THAT good.

LosingIt said...

I love 3 things:

1. I love lolcats
2. I love House
3. I love you for doing LOLHouse

Don't ever stop. Please.

Two Left Feet said...

i really hope i get this every week. beyond enjoyable.

Skashliwal said...

Simply I liked your blog, gonna make a habit to check it up daily...

Jenn said...

I love the LOLHouse! You are too funny girl!

Robbie said...

Great work. Although you're keeping me on my toes and I'll have to make sure I catch each episode.
I hope you don't have any other readers outside the States waiting to see this new series....

Maxie said...

omg those pictures are amazing. yes, yes, yes.

in the words of miss britney spears: gimme more.

cassette45 said...

"sad panda"

HAHAHAHAHHAHA Please tell me you'll recap like this every week!

Lori said...

We were introduced to House when my daughter was in the hospital and a kind nurse brought in the first season on DVD. We started saying things like "have you done a lung biopsy?" and "maybe it's auto immune." And I was convinced that everytime the docs left our room, they were rushing to our house to rummage through our stuff. The docs loved us...

And now for an SAT summary of your post: Like Vicodin is to House, your LOL House recap is to me.

Heinous said...

Sweet, now I don't have to catch the episode. You rock.

Sandi said...

J.W.--

LOL CSI:Miami would be GREAT!

I just found this blog and love it. The LOLHouse is hysterical.

surviving myself said...

House: The doctor who plays by his own rules!

It's such an original idea, it makes me wonder why I don't have a hit FOX show yet.

Paula said...

On a totally random point, last night I was downloading music for my flatmate cos she is off to Turkey today and while I was doing so I was going through my google reader and she appeared behind me while I was reading your post from yesterday about "House".

She loves it so she instantly saw the pics of HL etc. But two secs later she was laughing at your comments about thinking he could see you through the screen and you licking it etc. My best laugh all night. Cheers!!! :)

CM said...

There's one additional formulaic plot point I wanted to bring up -- once a month (on average) someone suggests amiloydosis as a possible diagnosis.

alexis said...

Did you see that Mr. Laurie is in Street Kings? Did you see that he has a major baldspot in that movie? Is the baldspot real or just movie fx?

bigskygirl said...

if anyone tells you to stop doing lolhouse, send me their emails and i will send them a scathing letter. because that shit is just too funny.

rs27 said...

I've never seen this show but they're at Princeton Plainsboro?

Thats where my uncle is at.

Its been proven. My uncle is House.

SA said...

I seriously went "awww" on the sad panda picture. I'm pathetic.

Annemarie said...

That's the best thing, EVAR.

Chris said...

Oh dear God - amazing. We miss you at the old digs, but clearly this bird can not be caged...

Bee said...

LOL House is awesome! Still waiting for new season here in Australia but I am all for spoilers!

Just found you yesterday thru This Fish. Glad I did - bloody hilarious.

I have a question from reading past posts. I am ignorant of long distance running....etiquette. Bathroom breaks? Using trees for support? People yelling at you to stop peeing in their garden....is that what I think it means????

jennyonthespot said...

Ha! Awesome. Truly - LOL.

!!!

Fraulein N said...

Oh! Oh this is 803 different kinds of awesome.

Indy said...

I like House more simply because of you...and I'm a man who loves him some House...

caitlin said...

LOLHouse = genius.
srsly.

Bogart in P Towne said...

I guess that is why I stopped watching...same thing every week. It took me 10 years to quit ER...I was not going to allow myself to get sucked in by yet another show that has that formula.

Unfortunately, I still find myself stopping and watching every time I catch it on.

Andy said...

Iz luvs dis post even if u sound sorta retard like fo sho

Sheena Beaston said...

You make me laugh to no end.

Love the Rue story.

Cheers,
Sheena Beaston

Mickey said...

I do like your LOLHouse bit. We are taking a vote, right?

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I love you like I love pate and avocado on toast. You may think that this is no big thing, but believe me, it is.

*~*Lis*~* said...

Wow! Glad I found you - time to add another bookmark!

Allie said...

LOLHouse. I can has wurk now.

Ohmygoshi said...

hahahaha! i luvs it.

Anonymous said...

As a recent House addict (bless you, USA for your marathon), I have to say that I greatly appreciate your hysterical summary of the general plotline. I especially enjoy the apparently constant anal bleeding that seems to come with every diagnosis. Thank God for Hugh Laurie!

Omri said...

You missed: conveniently develop additional and potentially life-threatening symptom while in the physical presence of House's medical team. Otherwise: brilliant.

SnowLeopard said...

Oh, I am SO adding your blog to my Google reader page. All of this is so TRUE! Thanks for the laugh- I sure needed it this morning. :)

Mia said...

Marry me.