Tuesday, October 28, 2008

LOLHouse: Season 5, Episode 5

So the point of last week's episode of House seemed to be that actress Olivia Wilde ("Thirteen", for you heathens who don't tune in every Tuesday) is totally cool with making out with women. Oh, and to further elaborate on the fact that Thirteen has Huntington's Disease and will eventually die but not before she plows her way through several more chicks on camera. The Patient of the Week (tPOW) was Thirteen's Flavor of the Night who had a seizure immediately after sex. Personally I'd take that as a compliment, since all I've ever contributed to is a pulled hamstring and my own tears. No, not at the same time.

After sixty-one minutes of being told she had an incurable illness, House somehow figured out that tPOW couldn't produce tears but with some eyedrops and antibiotics, she'd be cured and ready to resume sleeping with strangers.

The episode also featured two of my favorite recurring improbabilities, including House and Foreman breaking into Thirteen's place to look for clues since doctors always leave work to play Harry and Marv. Also, Thirteen got fired after coming to work drunk and giving herself IV fluids but she--of course--continued to stay at the hospital afterwards because the only difference between being an actual employee and being shitcanned is whether or not you still wear a white coat. As someone who has been fired from several jobs every job, I assure you that they don't just let you hang around the premises. Explain to me again why I'm not a writer for this show?

Finally, it seems like Wilson is back at Princeton-Plainsboro for good, the Private Investigator made a brief appearance, and Cuddy is getting ready to adopt a baby because, despite trying to find a sperm donor, her empty womb is dustier than most Steinbeck novels. We'll see if that actually happens since TVGuide's synopsis for tonight involves phrases like "Cuddy's baby mama" and "gravely ill". Until then...

Episode 5: "Lucky Thirteen"

































28 comments:

Ginger said...

Um, yeah, as much as I love this show, I've never understood the breaking into houses thing.

Oh, and of course, this was genius as usual.

Studley said...

Best. LOLHouse. EVER.

Lori said...

It's hard to decide which I look forward to more - watching House or reading the LOL House afterward.

Kate said...

well, thank goodness for LOLHouse, because my DVR cut off that last bit!

Non Sequitur Chica said...

So I don't even watch this show....but yet I look forward to your LOLHouse posts every week! :-)

*~*Lis*~* said...

i faked mor than that, bish

haven't we all?

X-Country2 said...

Just when I thought I couldn't lov House anymore. "What the eff?" Ha!

Elusive Butterfly said...

OMG I just peed myself. Think that's a symptom??

The Underpaid Princess said...

That was awesome. Great work! I'm still laughing over "I think I had Huntington's in college."

Heinous said...

Fantastic once again!

Luthy said...

13 being bi was probably their way of saying "We're okay with this. And we're cool.

Anyway, loving this week's LOLHouse orright.

alexis said...

I tuned into House just so I could read your LOLHouse and know what's up.

Also, that girl's name Thirteen really pisses me off for some reason. Why would they name her that?!

Beth said...

I bow to you!

And leave this at your feet, in case you need to watch the kiss from last night again: http://tinyurl.com/6ruw5p

Hugh's got some technique!

Sandi said...

I so look forward to LOLHouse! Yeah, my life is pathetic.

NewlywedCentral said...

O.M.G. -- I've never laughed so hard... all the while co-workers stuck their heads into my office to make sure I wasn't seizing ;)

Anonymous said...

As a recent House addict, I must say...I LOVE your recaps! They kill me. I look forward to them every Wednesday.

saratogajean said...

I have to start watching House.

For reals.

Mike said...

I had a meeting last night but now I feel like I've seen the show.

Julie said...

I don't even watch House. Why would I need to when I have these recaps?

Faile said...

I like House but their treatment of a non-straight character is deplorable. She has Huntington's, she's gonna die, we get it. But that's the only reason why she'd ever want to be with another woman? Whatev.

Ron Merlin said...

OK, I officially have to admit I love your musings online. How you can be so humorous and NOT be writing for like the Letterman show is beyond me.

AND, I have been a HUGE House fan since episode number two. My favorite show ever.

And as a guy, I gotta admit one thing from my perspective, one reason I like House so much is his character gets to act like all men wish they could..... LOL

Keep up the good work.

Check out my food blog if you eat food.

http://themerlinmenu.blogspot.com

Belle said...

Genius.
This'll be a must see for my thursday mornings.

:)

Anonymous said...

p.s. you are boring when you have a boyfriend...

Jessica said...

This made my day.

Kyle Dylan Conner said...

lmao.

Brilliant.

stefanie said...

oh my god. i just found your blog, and i'm crying from laughing so hard. i suppose this means that i don't have some weird disorder that 13's one night stand has, right?

Jess said...

strapping on my LOLerskates!!!

i *love* these house LOLcaps - and i actually don't want the show - in fact i can't even stand to watch the ads for the show!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i think i had huntingtons at college
just brilliant, really nice word <3