Things I Learned at the National Gallery:
1) There was an entire square on the museum map dedicated to the Italian painter Titian. Fun fact about me: I'm a direct descendant of this dude. Since scraps of his DNA may have been handed down to my own inferior double helix, I lingered a bit too long in this room, eventually being approached by a woman with an embroidered sweater to see if I needed any assistance. This was the opening I'd been waiting for and I pointed to a skillfully brushed portrait of a guy with an arrow and shrieked "I'M RELATED TO HIM!" She looked at me like I'd pulled my molars out and presented them to her, took a deep breath and said "That's the goddess Diana, I'm afraid." I tried to explain that I meant Titian--breaking out my best Italian 101 to pronounce his given surname of Vecellio--but she was neither particularly impressed, nor did she stand beside me long enough to hear the rest of the sentence.
2) Only works by three of the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on display. Sorry, Donatello. Not only do you get the shittiest weapon in the group, you also didn't score a place beside the gilded frames of the others.
3) Cherubs are uncircumcised.
4) If you believe the paintings, the only people who lived from 1400-ish to 1600-ish were men with velvety hats who liked to accessorize with leather books and pheasants, dead eyed children who--according to the caption--had a nasty habit of becoming actually dead after being painted, horses, and people who liked to kill Jesus.
5) On the enjoyability scale, this took the bronze behind the pair of Tates (more on my trip to the Tate Britain later). It was nice to actually catch a glimpse of Van Gogh's "Sunflowers", which I recognized from the Freshman Dorm starter kit. Every year I attended college, at least 7 out of 10 girls had that taped to the wall. Of the other 3, two of 'em had Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and I wasn't ever friends with the other one, but I'm assuming she owned something from Spencer Gifts.