Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mini Update: Day 5

I'm just back from seeing Robyn Hitchcock at the Union Chapel, where I sat close enough to catch his eye and gawked at him long enough to make him uncomfortable. We can examine my fondness for this gentleman--from his surrealist not-for-everyone lyrics to his hilarious between-song banter to his commitment to tight pants--a bit later. Instead, let's talk about how immediately after the show I scanned the stage for leftover set lists before scrambling to the ladies' room. I quickly released two cans of Coke back into the wild, pulled a scrap of toilet paper off my shoe, and headed back into into the almost-empty church. I was too busy ensuring that both sides of my scarf were equal lengths when I almost smacked directly into the sternum of ROBYN HITCHCOCK.

I looked at him, open mouthed. "Sorry," he said, to which I responded "Ahhhh...um...hey...good show." GOOD SHOW. I spent two hours thinking about how much marmalade it would take to coat his entire chest* and that's the best I could do. No "Can I trouble you for a picture?" or "You were the best part of Rachel Getting Married"** or "Wanna sign my A-cups?".

EDIT EFFING UNDO.

There's a chance I can confront him with my awkwardness again when he rolls into my home state*** at the beginning of April. This time I'll be ready. With several jars of marmalade.

* My jam-fueled fantasy was quickly euthanized when he said the worst six words ever: "This one's dedicated to my wife."
** He makes a brief uncredited appearance as--what else--a singer in the wedding band.
*** This tour's to support his latest, Goodnight Oslo. If you're already a fan, it builds on what he and the V3 started with Ole! Tarantula. If you're not (yet), you may dig the hint of R.E.M. you'll hear, courtesy of Peter Buck.

9 comments:

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Thanks! I had nothing planned for Valentine's Day but now I'm off to buy some marmalade to smear on someones ... (you know what).

Foss said...

I think you accidentally added a picture of a bewigged (?) John Malkovich instead, but that doesn't make your bloggings any less hilarious. And awesome.

I hope our weather gets better for you.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Wow, I hope that one day I am the subject of someone's condiment-abusing fantasy.

Pearl said...

THe Soft Boys! How very cool!
Pearl

Mike said...

You can be ready with an "I saw you in London" line.

J-Money said...

akilah: Just keep it away from your eyes and other mucous membranes.

foss: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. I'm actually leaving your wonderful country in about four hours, which means it'll probably be sunshine and bluebirds for the rest of the weekend.

the imaginary reviewer: I'll add you to my own ever-evolving condiment fantasy list, if that's cool.

pearl: YES! I could hug you for knowing that!

mike: YOU ARE SO RIGHT. It will just have to be said with the right amount of sincerity so it sounds interesting, not stalky/crazy/creepy.

Anonymous said...

It amuses me that you would plan the inflection for this. Be sure to practice in the mirror.

Butter Chicken said...

It's nice that they let my grandmother sing along with that band.

You really have to work on your crushes.

California Girl said...

I have nominated you for a Friends Award. This is a pay it forward type of award and was passed on to me by another blogger. Please refer to my Feb 14 post on
www.womenofcertainage.blogspot.com
for more information.

Happy Valentine's Day!