Monday, May 04, 2009

Potassium Benzoate To Preserve Taste

This is my new jam, yo. Also, dig my bedhead and ringer tee. Yes, gentlemen, this could be yours.

Thanks to everyone for their input concerning my itchiness, all the stories, suggestions and remedies. You guys are awesome, especially since no one came out and said "MAYBE YOU COULD JUST KICK THE CAFFEINE, ADDICT" or suggested a guest appearance on A&E's Intervention where my family members would all tearfully read essays they'd written on legal paper about how they felt when they discovered my trashcan full of silver empties.

Anyway, the festive yellow Splenda stripe is part of my life for a while because--as I learned last week--there's no way to discreetly scratch your underboob while you're in line at the bank. More words coming later today and--I swear--none of them will involve a skin condition.

Or my underboob.

17 comments:

Jules said...

Splenda IS better for you than aspartame FOR sure! And I love that you have 'underboob' in your post! :)

inflammatory writ said...

I am glad you found an appropriate substitute to continue your path of Addiction Sans Recovery. I quit smoking about 2 months ago, but caffeine? Out of my cold dead hands.

los_tartist said...

I'm glad you found something that works!! Although personally, I can't really handle splenda. I stick to loads of the real stuff. And that's why I'm scheduled to develop diabetes this fall.

Dazed and Confused said...

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's UNDERBOOB! (Insert appropriate superhero music here).
Sorry, I had to get that one out of my system.

Kelsey said...

I've gradually been trying to wean myself off of caffeine by slowly switching to caffeine free...it tastes pretty much the same, except the gold can isn't nearly as pretty as the silverness of original DC. :(

E Chuod said...

please, god, please don't let me develop an alergy to my beloved Diet Coke. I'd be lost without it. Especially you, Diet Coke Plus.

emmysuh said...

You know what? FUCK discreet scratching of the boob. I'm all for full frontal adjusting and whatnots. I'm tired of discrimination against my boobies. They itch too, you know!!!! If guys get to manhandle their junk (is that a pun? I'm not sure) in public, I can sure as hell give the girls a little lift when necessary.

Hmm. Wait, this was a shamelessly selfish comment. Congratulations on continuing your unhealthy habit. I am all for that. Which is why I had french fries for lunch. Mmmm. I'd addicted to growing a bigger ass.

Mia said...

I agree with that last comment I read, I want to be free to scratch my boobs in public, too!

Maxie said...

i'm scratching my boobs right now.

Michael said...

I'm all for full frontal self manipulation, in public, on television....all the time, in fact.

zlionsfan said...

Diet Coke with Splenda is a much better option than regular Coke. (Even the cane-sugar variant.) I'm not sure people understand what taking the "Diet" out of "Diet Coke addict" means, except that it would be a great plan for world domination ... because there would probably be two of you at this time next year, three the year after that ... I lost about 30 pounds one year by switching from regular to diet and cutting out most desserts. Didn't last, but it was fun.

Also, your switch supposedly means less caffeine in your system. About 25 percent less, the internets never lie. (And here I thought I was being clever switching from soft drinks to Crystal Light. There are 80 to 120 mg in some of the flavors, which are of course the ones I like better. I might as well just get rid of the middleman and smoke that, um, stuff.)

The Clandestine Samurai said...

No, there's no discreet way for that, lmao. Perhaps you could rub your inner wrist against the itchy part hard and the friction will scratch it.

Anonymous said...

there's an ointment for that itch.

Eric (Extra P.) said...

I scratch my underboob in public. I think the fact that I have moobs is much more embarrassing than the fact that I'm skritching them.

Deidre said...

I, too, am all for scratching the underboob in public...

Christy said...

I couldn't resist commenting on this one:

Just like every man that has balls feels the need to scratch them when they itch, every woman w/even the smallest bumps on her chest will feel the need at SOME point in life to scratch them, too. It's perfectly natural to have itches in strange spots...it's not like having a yeast infection or hemorrhoids -- I'd urge discretion there. =)

GYL said...

Would just like to mention that I am loving the light fixture in the background of your pic. V funk-ay.