Friday, February 05, 2010

A Flat Chest & A Fake ID

As for the Super Bowl, let's ignore the teams and look at the cities they're representing in Miami. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Indianapolis, but I've heard that it's the prettiest shade of grey. I have introduced myself to New Orleans on a couple of occasions and regardless of how bright eyed and well-rested I am when I get there, I always leave looking like a less hepatitis-y Amy Winehouse.

When I was in college, some friends and I made an obligatory Mardi Gras trip, where we learned about the rich traditions of the Lenten season, the jazz-infused history of the French Quarter and also that Winn-Dixie shopping carts will comfortably seat two semi-conscious sophomores. Predictably, we spent our time subsisting on pastel-colored chunks of King Cake and drinking souvenir-sized Hurricanes, the only alcoholic beverage that can give you both a hangover and adult-onset diabetes.

This week for NBC Sports - Out of Bounds, I was supposed to pick a team for the Super Bowl. Instead, I covered my first trip to New Orleans, which included a failed attempt at wearing barrettes, zero Mardi Gras beads and a fake ID that probably would've been more effective if I hadn't tried to pass myself off as Asian.

I've only been to Louisiana one other time and that trip ended poorly as well. I should bang out that story over the weekend. I should also eat an entire King Cake, carefully trying to chomp around the plastic Christ child baked inside, because I'm pretty sure eating one of baby Jesus' arms will give you seven years of bad luck.

7 comments:

MonsteRawr said...

Nononono, it's baby Jesus' feet that give you good luck. You're supposed to wear one around your neck for good luck. Either that or I need to go apologize to St Mary's downtown.

Shannon said...

Off topic but I thought if anyone could appreciate these it would be you. http://www.pajamajeans.com/Default.aspx?bhcp=1

zlionsfan said...

Let's see, Indianapolis ... well, for one thing, the cost of living here is really low, so in times like this, it takes that much longer to get to the point where they'd like you to pack up your stuff because see, it's not really your house any more. (Unfortunately, that kind of thing is pretty common around here.)

But it is a nice city, even if there isn't any mass transit to speak of. Traffic is really good compared to most big cities (unless you live where I do, in which case it's just tolerable compared to most big cities). The minor-league baseball team has a great stadium and is much cheaper than MLB, especially when you consider what your options are in various directions. And the Colts just got a new stadium, which means it only took 25 years from them to get a nice place to play. (The RCA Dome sucked.)

The weather ... yeah. We get more rain than Seattle. (No, really. It just doesn't rain as often. But that's because we get snow.) If you like seasonal weather, we have all four: damnitscold, rain, damnitshot, rain. (At least our extremes aren't that, well, extreme.) The weather can be very nice, but if you're, say, a runner, you're either going to be running indoors six months out of the year or you'll need something out of a Heinlein novel to make the outdoors tolerable.

Oh yeah! Parking is very cheap. You can actually park for free for Pacers and Colts games if you don't mind a little walking. (A lot of people do mind, as you'll be able to tell right away when you arrive.)

You should visit. Like right now. Then you can see what it's like when a city on the southern end of the Snow Belt gets too much snow. (We ought to be able to plow the streets properly, but even if we could, people would still drive like ... is this a family blog?)

Or stop by next week if the Colts win, and you can see how a city can change in ten years. (In the early Peyton days, there was no shortage of people telling him to stop doing that stupid chicken dance and just take the snap, and would he stop making that face? No one seems to mind that now.)

Holly A Hughes said...

I'm from Indy myself, although I hadn't darkened its shores for many years until this summer. It's actually a gorgeous place to live. Less traffic, fantastic houses, nice parks, just big enough to have all the stores and not so big that you can't get tickets for the concerts. And hey, if the Colts win, we'll get Peyton to make another appearance on SNL.

I should add, though, that the Colts didn't even move to Indianapolis until after I left, and New Orleans is one of my favorite cities on the planet. So I may have to root for the Saints. Ask me at halftime....

erika said...

Your commentary is FAR more entertaining than the actual game will be...

The Recreational Pre-Med said...

Winn Dixie shopping carts? Getting wrecked on Hurricanes? That sounds like the defintion of a successful trip to New Orleans.

Murr Brewster said...

Beats the heck out of the Lot's Wife cake, though.